Oh dear, -1

Is it possible to have given up on something so beautiful as this? To have experienced this many times through and through is a delight, a pleasure and a gift but to despise it so much is a curse that cannot be broken. This curse will haunt me forever; it will destroy me piece by piece. Is there a cure? I think not. So please forgive me for my wrongdoings - for what I am about to do. There is nothing that can fix this, nothing that could have prevented this. I have given up but I do not think you should. This is just your start. You have barely touched the edge; barely experienced it. Do as I say or you will stay alone wallowing in your sadness forever. Please forgive me. I have no choice but to break your heart. I have given up.